Yeah!Finally got to get off and together with
john, ritchie, jinrui and khenghui!Staying at
home all day...i just sit there almost doing
nothing and waiting for miricle to happen...
I messaged john all day...nothing to do...
and chatted with Ritchie all day.................
When i woke up this morning, i feel as if my
whole body is aching...must be bad posture
Then at night, i meet Ritchie and went walk
walk in Orchard...and i realised tat i am
really a mountain turtle....we tried looking
for the stupid unbreakable water bottle...
but we found 1 tat is in a bad shape...so
in the end i dint buy...haizz.....and also john
meet up with me in orchard 2 times haha
coz he is with Fabian(dunno who haha)
Anyway..we went to eat brownies and the
waiter sure took a long time to return our
change....then of course we went home....
On my way home....i limp...and limp...and limp
and found tat as my right leg land, my ankle
and knee hurts...when my left leg land...
my hip hurts....so i force my way home.....
even the black cat that is suppose to be beri
unlucky became my sandbag...i will fight to the
end till i recover!!

Boring ......good friday standby haizz doing a
favour for John hmm...i got into trouble...sianz
there is 2 rover tat i lend to the BC...one of
them is spoiled...dunno whether is it mine but
i remember the engine oil is not low leh...sianz
i told them that i got check the vehicle in the
morning..which i did not haiz....should i lie/?
Have i lied too much??I dunno what to do now..
If the BC had check the rover b4 he moved off
and that the rover is mine..then i die liaozz haha
but i got a consolation is that i remember that i
drove Eugene vehicle and that his wiper is not
working...hmmm....so got some chance that the
vehicle is not mine..but still i dint check my rover
dunno whether is it mine a not haiz...
Life is so contradicting...i lied in order not to get
myself into trouble...now...i think i might have
gotten myself into trouble..sianzz...ar...
I found that i am getting more and more heck
care about things...is it a good thing or bad??
It is that normally this thing happen i will get
very worried and keep bothering me the whole
day but this time not so much...
i keep telling myself that thinking so much wont
solve the problem......am i trying to make myself
more comfortable or am i pushing back the
problem??haizz....john i am not blaming u...just
that i wanted to confirm that it is not my rover
and that i wanted to think of a better way to
defend myself if they asked.....sorry if i sounded
that i blame u..i am always like that...when there
is trouble...the typical me is that blame on others
i think a lot might have seen this sort of things
happening...but it is only after i calm down that
i know that some times i am at fault...
i would not say that most of the time that i am not
sure whether most of the time i am at fault or others
are at fault...ar...sianz....almost nine gotto return key
to serg andrew....

ar....gout or whatever shit for 2 month +....ah....
ife sucks..when will it ever be cured??whenever
it seems like recovering...it got swollen again...
time and time and again my spirit..my will to
carry on...my will to fight got weaker and
weaker....John, thanks for helping out with my
standby.Ritchie, thanks for all the emotional
support...if not i would have broken down...a lot
of things about my feet i dint reallysay...it will be
a secret...til i tell someone...haiz....how am i
going to end this?it is said in my divination tat i
prayed for in a temple:
Just like a sparrow trying to build its nest with mud
with the rain and wind, it never succeed,
finally the uncompleted nest was blown and washed
away by the rain and wind

it says tat no matter what i do i will be doing in vain
for my feet..haizzz....still i struggle with my feet....
with Mr Boogey putting salt in my wound...i feel so
sad tat day..and angry of course...Sometimes i feel
so sad for John...having suffered because of me....
if i dont have standby....haizzz i wouldn't have to
worry so much...worry about who is going to take
over me in standby..worry about wat if it come back
again..worry about whether will i downgrade...
whether i can return john the standby...i feel that i
had brought everyone down...if only i am not in
their life they could be happier..but how can i do it?
How can that happen??...everything changed from
28th Nov 2003........
sometimes i wonder what will happen if Bolun were
still around i can be sure that life in camp would not
turn out this way...ar......life sucks...!?!...How can i
be happy??i have never been happy since New Year
2004...Am i still a human??How can that be??How
can a person so young be so unhappy??People at my
age should be happy and enjoying life with all the
food and friends around...Y ME!!!AR!!Life is so crappy
...arghh....even the doc i visited said that he dont
have confident of curing me.How can a person be so
suay?How can the same person applying for a busary
and i cant get it when i had a better result?How can
the same person applying for jc with the same score
and yet i dun get in??How can i lost my specs in
Thailand when all the others dont?I am just so suay...